I AM NOT PERFECT, BUT SOMETIMES I LIKE TO THINK I AM

What a weekend! My small child has been a little clingy this weekend... my husband and I were gone for about 5 days, we came back and my parents left, and later that evening my son lost his "wooby"... He has had this monkey blankie since he was born and slept with it constantly. He loves it! So suffice it to say he has had a rough week... and he wants his security blankie back!

The short version of the story is that my husband took my son out to dinner at the food court in the mall and well, monkey got left in a chair... 15 minutes later my husband remembered he had left him and went back to find people sitting at the table but no monkey. They had no idea where the monkey was, nor did the clean-up crew or the lost & found... So, I get a phone call during the end of my girl's night out movie ... and find out the bad news. I go back to the mall, and still no luck... My son screams and cries for his monkey for an hour and a half till he finally falls asleep... only to wake up searching his bed for him several times during the night and crying some more... this continues on all weekend, naps, bedtime... He is waiting, hoping, searching, then crying for it!

We searched and or called all over the area... only to find out that the stores have the same brand but no monkeys... and well our son is particular... he has rejected all other blankies and animals... He is no dummy and a substitute will not do. Don't worry we found it online and ordered two that should arrive here on Tuesday!

Here is where I have a confession to make... I have learned several things through this experience... One being that even though I know I am not perfect I still sometimes like to think I am. I say this because (my confession) here is my husband upset, broken, feeling sooo bad that he lost this blankie and I am, well mad! I am ... I think to myself "how could he have lost it!?" "I wouldn't have set it in a chair! I would have put it in his diaper bag..." Well, you get the point. So I try not to be upset and I try not to treat my husband as if this is all his fault, which in my mind it is... When in truth it is an accident and one anyone could make... But I have high standards and expectations... ones I am not sure any human even myself could live up to, at times. I like to think I am perfect and in my perfect world this would have never happened if I had been in control.

PRIDE! How ugly it is.... I can't stand it! I pray and I ask for forgiveness... because I am not perfect and thankfully the Lord not only knows it but He loves and forgives me. Which by the way is exactly what I should do... God forgets my sins and remembers them no more... He does not make snide remarks, rub them in my face or continue to make me feel guilty even after I have confessed my sin and repented... No He shows me mercy and grace and love... And that is what we are all called to do.

I know this may sound so silly ... all over a monkey blankie. But hey I would rather learn this lesson this way than with a much more serious one... I forgive my husband even though really he doesn't need my forgiveness... He did not intentionally do anything to cause me or my son harm. He loves us and he tries so hard to be the man God has called him to be... the husband and the father Christ desires ... he is a good man.

I have noticed that in marriage and maybe in other relationships as well... sometimes expectations can be a harmful thing... Especially when we set people up so high that they have to fall... because lets face it they are not God and they never will be. They are human and full of human frailty...

The other thing that this has taught me is how true it is not to cling to the things of this world but instead to cling to what is eternal. To cling to God! He is who we should hope in, search for, love, and cling to with all our strength. God is so good and His love fails not! Praise Him! There is no substitute for Him... He is the real deal and only He will do! Amen!

One last random note... My husband & I got to get away on a marriage retreat... what a blessing! Our speakers were Gary & Barb Rosberg. The Lord, as always, did amazing things... even to move our retreat location so that another couple who was not attending and were just heading in the direction of divorce - their marriage could be healed and restored! God is soooo good! One thing that I kept hearing over and over again... and even heard today at church was to be intentional! Be intentional in your marriage, be intentional in your walk... A building does not build itself, you make plans, you take action... It is that way with our marriage... Great marriages don't just happen unless you intentionally try to pursue your spouse, to continue to draw near to them, to talk with them, to listen, to share, to take time for each other... The same is said for our walk ... We can go about our day and not even share it with the LORD, or we can be intentional and seek Him, be in His Word, etc... Well you get the point. So BE INTENTIONAL!!! And be blessed!